Am I Speaking in Tongues???

Do I speaking a foreign language, speak in tongues or was I born on another planet. Sometimes it is so freaking frustrating to try to talk to people at corporate "help" desks. I think I'm being pretty clear but I get the feeling that I must be from another planet.

Trying to set up bill pay through my bank so I can pay on line. My concern is: when will the company I'm paying get my payment. Are they going to send a check through snail mail? Sheesh...I can do that! or is it going to be an electronic transfer from my bank account to the company I am paying the bill to.

At least if I send the snail mail check myself I will have a copy for my business records and KNOW that it was sent off. Electronic would be great, since I am currently going into each site and making a payment. This means I have a zillion passwords and user names for multiple websites. In fact I have an entire Rolodex of passwords for personal and business purposes.

So I call and ask........ How can I tell on these accounts that I'm setting up if they are going to be paid electronically or if you are going to be sending a check?

Sounds like a simple question....right? Evidently not.

So I ask the help desk:

Help Desk (HD): you should allow 4 business days for your payment.

ME: Ok... but how do I know which are being sent electronically and which are being sent by mail.

HD: When you click on the payment, the little calender will have a blue date which is the first date the payment will be sent out.

ME: OK. But how can I tell if you are sending it by mail or by electronic transfer?

HD: you should allow 4 business days.

ME: RIGHT....but is there any way to know which way you are sending the payment? For example if I have a bill due on the 20th and today is the 13th and the calender says it will take the money from my account on the 14th. How do I know if the payment is going to be received by the 20th or of it is going to go by mail which can take up to 7 business days??

HD: You need to allow 4 business days.

ME: So you are telling me there is no way to know how the payment is being sent out?

HD: You can ask the company recieving the payment after the payment has been sent.

ME: So in other words if my payment is sent electronically I will be on time but if it is sent by mail I should send it earlier, but I have to take a chance because until I make a payment and it is past due there is no way to know HOW YOU ARE GOING TO SEND IT OUT??

HD: You should allow 4 business days.

ME: AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH. Forget it. I'll just send a check

HD: Thank you for calling have a nice day.